Thanks to some intriguing revelations recently, I now know EVERYTHING... about this mysterious phrase, once uttered by Abel, one of MKDS' very own.

I only pray you get the chance to read this thread in its entirety before the mysterious few among us who know the truth pull it down.

Oh no, you say, what's this pray tell? Well, prepare to feast your eyes upon the evidence I now bring before you... evidence I have been clandestinely collecting for years, piecing this myriad puzzle together.

That's right. This goes far deeper than any of you could have ever anticipated. For THIS... is the Dutch Conspiracy.

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This is where it all began.

April 3rd, 2014.

The phrase became a long-living meme in the obscure corners of the MKDS skype groups. We puzzled. We marvelled. Some wrote it off. Others reposted it, a lot. I, however, refused to write it off as a mere drunken rambling. I knew it meant something. It had to.

But alas, a week, then two, then a month went by, and the trail seemed to be going cold. But then, we received another hidden piece of the puzzle.

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Marcus had been out in the woods, drinking vodya. In his drunken near-stupor, he fell into a wateer hole. Now, for those of you not well-versed in chemistry and the Dark Arts, wateer is not like ordinary water. For you see, wateer has magical properties. But I digress. Anyway, when Marcus fell into this magical wateer hole, it is rumored Rupa swam up from the depths, and uttered the meaning of 'doichi is bigger than ant' to him, before disappearing back into the deep from whence he came.

This revelation could have solved the puzzle. But alas, the truth was too much for Marcus' mind to hold, and he forgot every word. He later tried returning to this wateer hole in a sober state of mind and in daylight, but not a trace remained. He had returned home soaked, per his testimony, so it had in fact been real, and not a figment of his imagination.

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I should back up now and explain what I did find during this period. You see, it is well known that Thomas Bolton is a good MKDS player. So good, some say, he cannot be legitimately beaten, as he has a slew of Japanese alts under which he submits 1-tries to the MKDS players page.

I hacked into Thomas' profile, and got a screenshot of all his alts:



As you can see, Thomas has a veritable army of alts on his side.

This concerned the Dutch Conspiracy. Someone that only TAS can defeat is a threat to the Final Plan.

They fought back. David, aka MKDasher, is in fact a bot built by the Dutch Conspiracy to combat Thomas. This, however, was not a success. The bot went rogue and attempted to destroy the very Conspiracy which had created it. Humiliated, the Dutch Conspiracy was forced to hire Thomas to beat David back in 2014.



The Dutch Conspiracy then launched their next plan: the BEN project, aka the Bio-Engineered karter plan. Details involved Australia, and 50 million copies of Ben Stoneman. These Bens were no ordinary-strength karters, though. No, each one had the strength of many men. The plan was simple, but genius: have the Bens run down the entirety of Australia with their massive biceps, annihilating all in their path, then if this trial proved successful, run down the entire globe, taking out Thomas in the process.

However, the first prototype went rogue, destroyed its facility, and turned on the very engineers and lawyers who had created him, namely Dylan Gaunt and Lenny Andreev. It is rumored he now roams the Australian outback in search of combined points.

Nano, a possible double agent for the Conspiracy, told me in a private interview that the BEN plan had been what was revealed to Marcus that night in the wateer hole. However, there was no way to verify this, so that trail remained a dead end, and I now think that was a lie fed to Nano. More on that in a bit.

It seemed the BEN project had been an anomaly, or perhaps a diversion set to lead me away from the trail. I didn't know, but all I did know was this had led to another dead end.

Fortunately, however, the next piece of the puzzle aligned itself.

In 2011, one of Thomas' alts, Rupa, had began to gain notoriety for holding many wrs. This continued through 2012, then stopped.

In January 2013, I dreamed that Rupa was an evil dictator bent on world domination, and had taken the MKDS throne. I recorded it in my notebook at the time, hence why I know the details of this so well. However, as nothing happened after that, for years I thought it just another in a long line of nightmares I'm forced to endure each night, one of many failures that choke the void where my soul would have been.

Well, in 2016, I was vindicated. Rupa returned out of nowhere and took the crown, battling both Davidbot and Thomas, as well as passing the BEN and Utter (more on him later).

This, however, made no sense. Rupa was an alt of Thomas, and TB1 would never allow a mere alt to pass him, because he's TB1, not TB2.

What's stranger is, after a series of mysterious trips to Japan, Thomas hasn't been seen since.

That's when I found out the truth: Rupabot is owned by the Dutch Conspiracy. And since we know Thomas is the owner of that alt, we now know that Thomas was part of the Conspiracy all along, or at the very least had been duped from the beginning. This proved my dream right, as the Dutch Conspiracy is a shadow organization bent on world domination.

... Well, that's what I thought for some time, until yet another piece of the puzzle fell into place.

It is well known Sascha Brauninger disappeared at the end of the MKDS World War over 10 years ago, in the operation known as G-TB14. (Footage linked below.)



Well, after some investigation, I came across a startling discovery.

It's 2018 now.

"Sascha Brauninger" is the REAL Thomas Bolton. The Thomas we know today is but a mere counterfeit, the stolen identity of a dissenter who was forced into Witness Protection, forced to give up the power of the BLS. Well, the REAL Thomas came forward to share his knowledge of the Dutch Conspiracy. Below is a picture of that interview.



Unfortunately, Thomas aka "Sascha" only spoke German at the interview, and I don't know any German, so I have no clue what he tried to tell us. However, a close confidant of mine tells me that beards are trustworthy, so I know his word is undoubtedly the truth, because the Dutch Conspiracy's version of "Thomas" has no facial hair at all!



Based on this, it is safe to conclude that MKDS players with facial hair are trustworthy.



Based on that fact, and based on this image, I came to another startling revelation.

Marcus can't be trusted. He's even covering up the fact that he has no facial hair, because he knows he has something to hide. It took me awhile to figure out what, though.

As it turns out, Marcus was abducted by Ben and subjugated to his biceps. He was reprogrammed, and he now plays Smash. His mind was wiped. He can now also never grow facial hair, so nobody can trust a word he says.

Why, you ask? All because he USED to be a part of the Conspiracy. When, you ask?

From 2014 to 2016.

Right after he fell into the Wateer hole.

The Conspiracy needed to cover up its secrets, so they took Marcus in as one of their own. He rebelled after they killed Harambe, however, and attempted to go rogue.

That's when he was wiped and shipped away to Smash.

All this meant one thing: I needed to revisit the Wateer hole.

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This brings us to 2017. I didn't know where to even begin to look for the wateer hole, however, because it's magical and only appears to certain people at certain times.

I needed to figure out how to get it to appear to me, though.

So I did research. Looking back at Marcus' posts, it appears a couple conditions needed to be met:

>It has to be nighttime
>There needs to be a forrest
>The person needs to have drunken a lot of Vodya.

While I was in Wisconsin investigating some non-non-leads for other threads to this puzzle, I tried to access the wateer hole myself.

So, I drank a lot of 100 proof vodka while playing Mario Kart Wii, then went outside into the night to wait for the wateer hole to appear to me.

Unfortunately, however, this experiment proved fruitless. Wisconsin has corn fields, not forrests, and the drink has to be vodya, not vodka, so I was doomed from the very start.

Once again I thought I had hit a dead end.

However, I did find some other surprising clues while en route to, and while in, Wisconsin.

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The biggest discovery was absolute confirmation that this conspiracy spreads far, far, far beyond the margins of MKDS. Abel was but one operative who slipped a crucial piece of information, however, and that's how all this investigation started.

Let's jump back to 2014 briefly.

It had been long theorized that Shock=Sock=Chris. Chris would post in Skype when Sock wouldn't, and vice versa. Sock would play, then Chris. Martin was in love with both Chris and Sock, which proved Martin was a woman, perhaps lesbian, but I'll get to where he fits in soon.

Well, in Wisconsin I received confirmation that Sock=Chris. I was drunk so I only remember half the conversation, but I believe the excuse put forward for Chris' absence was a fear of heights or airplanes or whatever. Convenient, no? Also, both Chris and Sock write news updates. Further, Sock does physics, and Chris does parkour. Parkour stunts are very physically taxing maneuvers, which only someone physically oriented would ever be able to pull off. Combined, these facts prove conclusively and statistically the likelihood that Sock is Chris is at least 75%. I enlisted Statistics Professor Diamond to confirm with his flawless calculations, so I am 75% sure this is 75% correct.

Oh also they're both women but that's another part of the discovery.

Anyway, how does this tie back into doichi?

Well, that's where things get complicated.

Really complicated.

This conspiracy goes way further than just what I outlined here. The discoveries I've made are mind-boggling. I've found conclusive proof that Harvey, the woman known as Etch, shadow, ALAKTORN, Meaks, Marty, Fried, Sock, TvL/TvK, Sami, Jon/John, Rusty, MR, Moll, every Dutch karter, the A1A, Chrono, Meaks, Chrissy, Webs, Meaks, Duff, Meaks, Stacy, the Antelope of Death, Goomba, Kyle, Diogo, Zarkov, Elmore Vaal, Lafungo, Emo, Lewis, Pobre, Gaff, and virtually every other karter, alt, and bot in just about every community is linked to, in some way or other, the Dutch Conspiracy. The depths of the madness I have uncovered know absolutely no bounds.

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As for the MKDS branch of the Dutch Conspiracy, they've spent the majority of 2017 battling the David bot, which had received a 4k firmware update and was beating back Rupabot. The Davidbot is currently ahead of Rupabot, so it seems the DC have their hands full reigning it in. Well, the Davidbot kept attacking Rupabot's WRs, and weakened the Conspiracy's security, so I was able to slip in and grab a valuable piece of information:

Quote:


This is what led me to believe the timing is right. They're vulnerable. I needed to get the truth out, while they have their hands tied.

I can't keep releasing this information right away, though. I'm in danger.

I will release more information when I can. That means updates to this posts and many, many subsequent posts.

What the hell are you high on?

"Rusty,"
oh

I need 24 hours to read OP's post