I first entered the MK world by emulating and playing MK64 on keyboard while mom wasn't home cause she didn't want me to spend countless hours on the computer. That was back in 2001 and I didn't even know there were other modes than GP (I was 10 thus stupid).

On Christmas Eve 2005 I got a DS and MKDS with it so I kinda played it like a motherfucker for a year. I remember spending nights just trying to win first to 10 battles in hard mode against COM.

I met Mario in 2009 on a French retrogaming forum in which he mentioned the CDM a lot. When he asked me if I could hypothetically consider coming I replied 'Yea fuck it, what mk is it again ?' to which he replied 'SMK on Snes' and I was like 'Shit there is a Snes MK I didn't know'.
So I went to that CDM 2010 stuff even though I had never played the game before. I mostly slept on the floor with a pillow I stole from Mario and ended up last of the tournament (I still have the wooden spoon which was meant to reward this performance). Also Drew and I played frisbee with shitty pizzas and I hit on Sami for the first time (though I did it subtly because I knew he was in a relationship at the time).

I guess you should vote for me because I'll only carry on with this delightful story if I make it to the next step. Also I think it takes quite some guts to take part in the World Championship of a game you never played before.

Note that the next episode (if you guys make it happen) will notably mention the first time I met Zarkov. In detail.


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I really liked that CDM 2010 stuff even though my arse had turned red by the end of the week after getting spanked so much in every mode. Watching the high-skilled players litterally fly over the tracks really motivated me to go anywhere close to their level. Plus Sami was kind enough to explain to me how to avoid going off track at every turn which came in handy in that purpose (too bad that bullshitter had to wait till the last day of CDM to do so).

Anyway I started TTing after that. There was obviously a shiton of room for improvement since my first timeset fell outside of the top 300. As I wasn't used to competitive video gaming at the time it took quite a while till I get times that I could shamelessly and publicly claim as mine. The first time I finished a RR without falling was obviously a great moment but I feel that my first top 100 on GV3 (both Flap/5lap) were my first true TT achievements. It also gave me confidence before CDM 2011 in which I was expecting to win a few games and maybe qualify for the last 16 in Battle Mode (that hope came after making it to the last 8 in Battle Mode at SMK Belgian Open 2011).

I couldn't reach any last 16, but my improvement was obvious since I won 9 matches (one of which was against Zarkov) and got a few draws here and there. Though as I still lost most of my matches I got to yell 'putain' a lot.
I actually did a huge karting performance during that CDM. In MR Group Stage I had to face Sami who -as you are all aware- is the best MR player in SMK history so it's pretty accurate to say that I wasn't expecting much from that match (I would have been content with just a good fight in one of the four rounds tbh). The first three rounds went exactly as planned and Sami was leading 3-0 when the last round came.
Track was GV1. Sami misses the zoomstart, I don't. I get a feather, so does Sami and we obviously both do the SC. I then get another feather when Sami gets a banana or something. I do the SC again which puts Sami under pressure : he has to nail that SC without help from any weapons to keep his hopes of catching me up. He jumps a bit too early and falls into GV1's dark void. At that very moment I knew that was it. I secured the rest of the course and won. What seemed impossible happened : I -the only player who lost all his MR matches 0-4 the year before (which had never happened in CDM history)- got a win over the best player in the world on this mode. I was so happy that I almost completely ignored all the bullshit excuses Sami made right afterwards. I thought of making him smell my asshole but Conor was sitting right next to us and I didn't want to cause him any more trauma.

Boy what a day.

As I already told you CDM 2011 was also the first time I met Zarkov. All I knew about him was he played all his matches being utterly drunk at CDM 2009. Tbh we didn't spoke much until the fourth day when we were sent to buy some food (Drew and other guys I forgot were there too). We talked about the London riots that happened a few months beforehand. We also agreed on the fact that Watford should win the Champion's League in a few years. Those were good times when I didn't know Zarkov's nonsensical opinions about cheese.

That's pretty much it about CDM 2011. If you guys give me an unexpected win against Chris I'll carry on with the story of the construction of my relationship with Zarkov.

Also :

http://img4.hostingpics.net/pics/156005drew.jpg

It's up to you guys.

Tif has my Zarkov    

There was never a more appropriate time to say this:

tif