In ancient Indian records, the combination of yoghurt and honey is called “the food of the Gods”. In terms of karting: they suck. Since I’m no hero yet and I just couldn’t find a better word rhyming with ‘expert’, we’ll have to do with this rather unfortunate title.

Also yoghurt is a food produced by bacterial fermentation of milk, which sounds kind of disgusting and in a weird way exactly like how I would describe a noob player. Cause let’s be honest, we don’t all start at an beginner level now do we? Right.

Anyway.

With that being said, maybe it’s time to explain what this is all about before you decide to leave this topic! Would be kind of embarrassing…
Hah who am I kidding, after that astonishing introduction you know you’ll just want to read the whole story now Frankly, if I may say so, I find it rather entertaining and hopefully encouraging for them yoghurts among us!

Without further ado, this is how I met Mario Kart, and how Mario kart met me.

February 2th, I discovered the MKDD Time Trial player’s page and with it, the truth about MKDD. For a few years now I’ve been playing this game every now and then on Sundays with my buddy Vinnie after a charming night of dart and beer pong while singing Bon Jovi’s ‘You gave love a bad name’ and sipping from our whiskey’s. With a console in our rather befuddled hands and an salami sausage in our mouth we’d play the All cup tour, sometimes even twice, and lose ourselves in the world of MKDD, leaving our everyday problems behind for the chain chomps. He was good, Vinnie, obviously better than me cause he owned the game. I’d be happy with a fourth place and fought hard to get third.

But all this would change when I found out about time trialing. I knew I had no choice anymore so only 2 hours later I had bought an old TV. That same evening I travelled to our hustling capital where I managed to get a GameCube with controller, memory card and two games. The second game was a puzzle version of Worms. (Worms game ever. If you don’t know it don’t even bother looking it up it’s not worth it).

From that moment of it was madness. During an extended weekend I karted my life away, discovering the world of Mario and gathering PR after PR. Every 2 hours or so I would send some new updates to the site until I realized it would be better to just wait and send them in all at once, which our bold updaters would surely appreciate.
After four days of karting, the apocalypse stroked. I encountered a gamers worst enemy… my beloved girlfriend.

Ow right, did I mentioned that I’ve got exams at the moment? Yeah…

I admitted that she had a point, turning over the GameCube to her and so it disappeared, within hand reach but still unattainable, into the closet.

Unseen but not forgotten.

Truth be told, my closet and GameCube only had a short time relationship. No one night stand of course, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I managed to focus on those exams for a few days, but it was inevitable that sooner or later I’d continue my quest for glory and fortune. I was thrilled when finally, on February 8th, I read the news and with it my acceptance to this community! I immediately send my latest updates and again I’m waiting with curious anticipation for the results, meanwhile still gathering PR’s for the week after. I’m so motivated at the moment, I even calculated my current rank and AF cuts without waiting for the site to do it. After 10 days, I moved up approximately 130 places in the rankings, which is quiet satisfying!

We’ve unavoidable come to the end of the story of how I grew from an blubbery consistency to the gates of Expert standards. Even if this adventure required an humongous amount of sweat, blood, tears and beer, I’ve been realizing that I’ve not seen the end of it. Now facing a new and greater challenge, one every karter must face sooner or later, I’m preparing myself for this outlandish adventure.

So to all those yoghurts who are tempted to give up now that they have to prove themselves the hero they think they will never be:

You are not alone.

…
God I really couldn’t find anything better than that?

So to all those yoghurts who are tempted to give up now that they have to prove themselves the hero they think they will never be:

Yes we can.
…

*Sigh*

Good luck in your quest to expert and beyond!

Some helpful stuff to know though: Be sure to keep practicing those SSMTs and keep watching videos / streams of people who are just a bit above your level. Be sure to space your MTs and try to get good lines

A-tech will come later, so just focus on driving and MTs for now