In this thread, I will tell you stories about special courses from a very unique point of view. To those of you unfamiliar with MKWii, I will include a background section on each story.

The Pipes of Mario Circuit 3

Background:

Originated from SMK. This course is the first track of the lightning cup in MKWii. It is considered by some as one of the most "skilled" courses, and even the most "maxed out" course. Once taken to a high level, this course can be quite the source of frustration, as one slightly miscalculated corner, MT, or shroom could be your demise.

Unreal TTed this course over stream, and some of the humor is quotes from him. In this section, he takes on the role of God.  Not all of the "God" quote portions are straight from him though.

The main characters of the story are:

Jack - The first pipe located on the course. You hit this pipe frequently with a tight line on lap 1.

Zack - The second pipe located on the course. You hit this pipe approximately half as often as Jack.

Daisy - She plays a minimal role, and you should know who she is.

~~~The Story~~~


Jack and Zack are two pipes on the course Mario Circuit 3. Zack has been in his position for a long time, but Jack has just arrived on the scene.

Jack: Whaaa... *cough* *cough* *wheeze* ... What...

Zack: Hello.

Jack: Whoa, where am I? What happened? ... What's going on?

Zack: Welcome. You're in the sixth circle of Hades. Although I've heard some call it "MC3" whatever that means. You just transported from one world to the next, which is why you're disoriented. What's going on? Not much. You are doomed to sit forever in that position, so we have plenty of time to talk.

Jack: WHAT? Why am I here? I was a good man... I think.

Zack: You obviously weren't good at all. I mean, look at you.

Jack: I can't believe this... so you're telling me, tha-

*ZROOMMMMMMMmmmm*

Jack: HOLY SHI... what was that?!

Zack: That is your worst nightmare. Her name is Daisy, and she is intent on inflicting as much pain to your sorry hole as possible.

- As you can see, Zack and Jack are getting along just fine. They discuss what was going on in their lives, and Zack continues to explain to Jack the ins and outs of his new world. Every 26.1-26.3 seconds, Daisy comes zooming around again and again. Jack is starting to not mind his condition.

Jack: So, this "Daisy" keeps coming around every 26 seconds huh?

Zack: Yeah. Only at most 3 times consistently though. If we wait a little longer, we might just hear God speak to us.

Jack: God? Ha, there is no G-

*SLAM*

Jack: OOWWW!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU DAI-

*Daisy vanishes*

Jack: What the-

God: DAMN YOU. You pipes are ALWAYS in the way. I wish you would just MOVE! For fuck's sake...

Jack: Well, SAME TO YOU! ... Owww.... What does he mean, "move"? I'm a PIPE. I DON'T MOVE. And isn't Daisy the one at fault here? Why is he mad?

Zack: I have only just begun to piece the puzzle together. But I think this voice from the sky is directly related to "Daisy". I sometimes can pick out random pieces of information that help. If you listen well, maybe we'll understand someday.

God: His name is Certifiedmc because he plays so shit-ty!

Jack + Zack: ???

*Daisy Zooms by Again*

Zack: Yeah... I really don't get what in hell is going on here. In fact, I don't even know if this is the sixth circle of Hades, but that's a pretty logical gue-

God: DAMN IT. WHERE ARE MY MTs? Why no MTs tonight? ...

Jack + Zack: ???

- Well, these shenanigans go on for a while until finally, 5 hours later, God decides to call it a night. The last thing that Zack and Jack see before their world temporarily goes black is this:



Well, I hope you enjoyed my little story about the pipes of Mario Circuit 3. Be sure to check out the sequel when it comes out: "The Crabs of Shy Guy Beach"

Oh, and one more thing. Vote Lundeen. Thanks, and thanks for reading!

Yeah too bad you switched the names of the pipes around.  

LOL Shock I wish I could somehow sigquote this  

That story was very entertaining. Nice one Shock.

The Crabs of Shy Guy Beach

This story will be much like the story of the Pipes of Mario Circuit 3. If you enjoyed that, read on. I am in a story telling mood these days, and I hope you're in a story reading mood, because I may make a bunch of these stories now!

Before you read this story, watch this:



(A story in a story: I searched the longest time for this vid, before I finally found it. In order to view Mick's profile, I copied this entire story... but not really. I hit back, then complacently after finding the vid, copied the URL. I came back to this tab to find all my work permanently erased. I had spent 2 hours thinking up and typing it. Hopefully, this time around I will not fail so bad.  )

~Background~

    Shy Guy Beach is the second course of the Banana Cup in Mario Kart Wii. This course is notorious for how tight the top scores are, and therefore how easily it is to fail with a slightly miscalculated line. "Mick" Smolen is known for his incredible talent with the Funky/Spear combo skills on this course. This is unique, as the main strategy for the course was with the Toadette/Magikruiser combo for the longest time, and it did not seem likely to change.

     In this story, I will present the insider's story on the true reason why Mick failed his incredible run in the vid. You never saw this coming.

Characters:

Goon: The bad guy in the story. He hires a ninja to thwart Smolen's plans. This Goon is intent on not allowing the World Record to contain a strategy that would break every rule that the course has known.

Ninja: (Sorry, this character has been handicapped. He is probably crap, anyway)

~The Story~

Goon: Ninja, come over here.

Ninja: Yes, my liege?

There has been a security breach. Someone has broken the top 10 with a time that was achieved by an unacceptable strategy.

An unacceptable strategy, my liege?

Yes. This strategy involves using the Spear. Only the most skilled of player's have attempted it, yet they have all failed until now. We must keep this record in tact. Smolen must not be allowed to succeed. It would break every rule and strategy that I have set in place on this course.

I see. What is the plan, my liege?

I have taken the last crab on the course into my possession. I noticed that this crab has been dangerously close to hitting Smolen on lap 3. We must use it to thwart Smolen.

How so, my liege?

I have taken an advanced robotic technology from the lab, and placed it into the robot's eye. I want you to use this special control to control the crab. Once in control of the crab, I want you to own Smolen on lap 3, where it is least likely that a conspiracy would be suspected.

I see. The first two laps, I control the crab in patterns much like the other crabs, but on lap 3 I slightly adjust the path of the crab, and hit Smolen. Understood, my liege.

- Goon and Ninja unfortunately, succeed in their nefarious scheme.

Goon: Mwahaha! Nice work ninja! That fail was so bad, he is not likely to try this again. And even if he does, we can always thwart his plan. He does not suspect. He only thinks that he is driving either too fast or too slow. We have him now.

Ninja:  



^ This is the Goon with the modified crab.

-----------

This story is dedicated to Michael Smolen. Do not let this conspiracy overcome you! Go back to Shy Guy Beach, and take what is rightfully yours!

I will gladly take requests on my next story.

TellTale wrote on 05/31/10 at 12:35:26:


Okay, I will. Is it possible for a mod to move these posts over to "The Pipes of Mario Circuit 3" and I can edit the subject?

I checked, but at the time it said you were offline, and I wanted to get the story underway.

Also, is the red cross gone? It showed on my computer at first, but I went ahead and saved/uploaded the pic, so it should work now.

Thanks for the feedback.

Merged the topics. Good luck in round 1! For anyone reading, I'll need votes in future rounds, but not really this one (probably). Show some solid support for Andy.

If you make a story about The Cow Truck From Hell on MH, I'll promise you my vote for future rounds

   Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you story number 3, a story about a legendary tragedy that has occured on the drunk-driver ridden track known as Moonview Highway. I present these stories not as a campaign, but as simply an offering to help alleviate the pain of my fellow karters in their ambitious endeavors to succeed. So, without further ado:

Moonview Highway is a Glitch

  A slight breeze rumples the fur of a lone character in the middle of a dark black tarmac street. The night is young, with a bright full moon on the horizon. The sound of bustling traffic strikes the ears of this ape. However, the ape can barely hear it. He is concentrating on what lies ahead. The images of cars streaking by inches away from his bike fills his mind. His palms get sweaty with anticipation. A cloud carrying what appears to be a traffic light suddenly appears right in front of him. The primate immediately focuses his attention on the lights. The first blinks. A slight rumble shakes the vehicle. The second ignites, then starts to fade. The ape slams the gas down with his mighty fist, and immediately the quiet night erupts in a deep, throaty roar. The last bulb flickers, then all three turn blue. Immediately, an explosion sounds inside the engine, and the mighty ape is thrust forward; the race is underway.

  The race is like a dream. The cars fly by on all sides as the sleek bike, like a torpedo, spears its way through the traffic. It pulls off impossible stunts as it makes hairpin turns and frighteningly low jumps. To top it off, the bike is racing not on two, but only one tire as the driver proves his skills in a series of clean wheelies. All is going well...

  Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The ape and the bike disappear behind a sharp turn, just moments before the finish line. However, a milk truck driver has decided that he will be immediately in the biker's way. A camera from near by captures the amazing footage of the crash. The Kong is so intense on his drive, he even manages to stay on the bike throughout the entire collision. But before an ambulance can arrive, the ape mysteriously vanishes. People from all around pay homage to the fallen driver, taking off their hats saying "He was a good ape. The moment he vanished, I knew where he was going." (Back to the starting line)

  Although not much is known about the truck or its driver, to this day they are referred to as the Milk Truck from Hell. Players from around the globe now commemmorate this story by pulling off equivalent performances as this original. Constantly, faithfully, they smash into this milk truck in memory of this legendary run. Every time they do, they solemnly recite this line,"Moonview Highway is a glitch. RIP Funky." Have you done your part in honoring this fallen hero? I challenge you today to think about all that has happened, and that you never look on Moonview Highway the same, ever again.



In fond memory.  

Said one legendary karter: "Mario Kart is serious business."

I'm pretty much voting you through the whole contest unless you face me, which would mean I couldn't vote. Really creative and hilarious stories btw  

Fant0m wrote on 06/01/10 at 02:58:34:

Lafungo wrote on 06/04/10 at 09:02:05:

+ If so, try to go for a YD story! ^^