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07/07/2008: "Karting Times"
Monday, July 7th 2008 | Still only 90cGender Conspiracy Rocks | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Suspicions arose at a recent karter meet, when a bracelet with a floral pattern and hearts on it was found on the ground shortly after everyone had gone home. The bracelet was bagged and sent to the forensic department who managed to lift fingerprints and trace it back to a house in the city. A raid of the house took place shortly after 7pm last night, and it was there that the shocking discovery was made. Twenty seven girls were found having a secret meeting, all wearing name tags with the karter they've been impersonating on them. The mastermind behind all this, one Karina Alexandra Villa, was wearing several nametags, and had been instructing the girls on how best to stay undercover. Although twenty seven girls were at the meeting, it is thought that only a fraction of the total females involved were in attendance that night. However, so far the girls have refused to release any other names. Statements from the girls were taken on the scene. Michelle Fried, the highest ranked known member of the group was quoted as saying, "The guys will often treat girls differently on the site. We just wanted to be taken seriously for once." |  Karina was arrested and will appear in court later next week on multiple charges of defrauding the community. Karina has taken on many male personalities, including MK64 rising star John Falls Marshall and Julio Cesar Morales. Details of the extent of the deception may never reach the public, as judge Liem has ordered the press out of the courtroom for the duration of the trial.
| The news shocked regular-Joe, meat-eating, male karters, everywhere. One karter commented "Girls, good at Kart? What next? Male hairdressers?". Not everyone viewed the situation the same way though. One prominent mkds star commented "If Karen Borne wants to be known as Kevin Borne, then who are we to argue with her, him, er...you know what I mean. Why are you still writing? Give me that p.." Whatever the outcome of the trial, it is clear that the world of kart won't be the same. The 27 girls discovered at the meeting may be just the tip of the iceberg. Some have postulated that as many as 50% of all karters may indeed be secretly female. The consequences could be potentially disastrous. What if you're playfully flirting with some guy on the Message Board? If it was a guy, he'd know you were joking, but what if it was secretly a girl? In some states that sort of thing means you're technically married. It's a scary world we're entering, and this reporter feels that the only karters you can trust are those you've met personally. And even then, have you noticed those guys who never seem to grow a beard, and have suspiciously high voices, and when you ask them "Who is your favorite character from Sex and the City?" they tell you that they can't decide rather than telling you they'e never seen it? Be on the lookout. Pretending to be the gender you aren't is serious business and should be stamped out of this community. ~Susan Amy Lacey | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||