Yes, this is a fake chat. For those that are sort of slow, this isn't a real chat. This means that this chat didn't actually happen in any way, shape, or form, so quit asking questions like last time about why someone said/did/bought whatever. Also, if you are the type of person that doesn't like really rank humor or can't get 2 or 3 part jokes, you won't like this chat. While it is true that a lot of this chat is based on things that did happen, a lot of the facts are exaggerated, stretched or even completely made up. It's up to you to assume what you want, but by reading the below you agree to not be offended and to for once come out of your shell for once in your life and laugh a little ;)

I just figured I'd get that out of the way. I'll provide analysis for this chat someday when I feel like it, but for now enjoy the chat, and there will be a link for comments about chatv3 at the end of this.

BOOTHMAN Has Joined the AIM/IRC Interface Channel (#Advisor Chat)
WhallBanger Has Joined the Channel

WhallBanger: Jesus Christ Booth, it better be important! You know that I find your chats boring.
You invite people that don't know a space bar from a CAPS LOCK KEY.

BOOTHMAN: Well you know the drill Whalls; I invite those that annoy you the most, in order to challenge you.
WhallBanger: You mean mentally challenged.
BOOTHMAN: Same difference
BOOTHMAN: Well first item of business, my advisor. It happens Twin Galaxies is going to print the book....
WhallBanger: And what does that bring the tally up to... 30 times?
BOOTHMAN: Give or take 5.
BOOTHMAN: That's not the point though. They really are going to do it this time.
WhallBanger: I've quit caring years ago.
BOOTHMAN: Well no shooting the messenger Whally Sparks. I know… I'll invite him in!
WhallBanger: This will be a long day indeed.

Mzek The Goon Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Ok Robert, Whall Brain out here doesn't believe you.
Mzek The Goon: Well I told my programmers that if they don't get it done by our 31st deadline
change, they will get their digits chopped off, and get a new pair of cement shoes.
WhallBanger: Sounds fair
WhallBanger: However haven't you already done bodily harm with no results?
Mzek The Goon: Yes, but I figure I'll guess the correct future method yet!
BOOTHMAN: 32nd times a charm!
WhallBanger: And where was the part where I give a shit?
Mzek The Goon: That's it! Just for that, there go your nuts!
BOOTHMAN: Well, not like he's going to miss them.
WhallBanger: Like you should be talking, Mr. Collector.
BOOTHMAN: Grr, Point taken.

The Funky Chicken has Joined the Channel.

Mzek The Goon: BILLY!!! It's been a couple days. How's the restaurant business going?

The Funky Chicken: We just got a lawsuit. One of the customers said we didn't have the best sauce
in the south, and well you know how passionate I am about being the best, so I just had to correct him right then and there.

Mzek The Goon: What did you do oh golden gamer...
WhallBanger: *Rolls his eyes*
The Funky Chicken: Well I forced him in front of a Pac-man machine to watch me set a new speed
record for the freeze screen.
Mzek The Goon: Pure brilliance!
BOOTHMAN: Speaking of that, I was at your restaurant at 5pm on Thursday, March 31st. Also, I left several messages with Robert.
Why in the world did you never call me back? After all, I am a Twin Galaxies Referee.
The Funky Chicken: Damn, you are fuller of yourself than Jason Whalls.

Mzek The Goon: Don't you understand? The position was only so you'd actually do our work for us. I mean come on, did you really think I
was serious when I said you could actually personally meet us? I mean after all, you are a console gamer, and those players are 2nd rate at
Twin Galaxies.

The Funky Chicken: Besides, only superstars like I can get their Funky Chicken on with those younglings
WhallBanger: I wouldn't say that...
BOOTHMAN: Save it for next chapter Billy Boy.
Mzek The Goon: Don't make us stick Walter on you all.
WhallBanger: (sarcasm) *shakes in his heels* (/sarcasm)

Walter Gay Has Joined the Channel.

Walter Gay: What is going on here my love?
Mzek The Goon: Whalls and Booth are being very disrespectful
The Funky Chicken: and Booth is taking my gals
BOOTHMAN: WTF you smoking? They weren't even born when you were in the golden era.
Walter Gay: So I take it the exaggerated stories aren't controlling them anymore?

Mzek The Goon: Well, as we discussed in the TG rules meeting, in which we added line 420dd which clearly states that all TG members must
read the complete first edition of the book at least once a month. Since there will never be a 2nd edition, even though we promise there will be.
The Funky Chicken: Yep, got to keep these arcade virgins in line.
WhallBanger: I swear gamers go senile at age 30.
BOOTHMAN: Not to interrupt, but none of this is supporting your point.

Walter Gay: Like we need to support our point. Twin Galaxies is where it is cause of us. BTW Robert, I especially like that part where
you castrated our web designer. After all, it isn't our fault that he can't work with our lack of content.
The Funky Chicken: After all, when it comes to console gaming, what content is there possible really?
Mzek The Goon: Don't you understand we own you gamers. 80's arcades are the reason you ever had a name. You nothing without us!
WhallBanger: Well, considering console games single-handedly shut you guys down, I think you are really making yourself look bad.
WhallBanger: I think that's enough TG for a lifetime.

WhallBanger BANS Mzec The Goon (Walter says you look good in stripes)
WhallBanger BANS The Funky Chicken (Booth has your dates on his computer)
WhallBanger BANS Walter Gay (Burbs is getting jealous)

WhallBanger: Seriously Booth, Why do you waste my time?
BOOTHMAN: Like you really use your time for constructive things.
WhallBanger: UNTRUE! I play RPGS, and when I don't do that, I either sleep or I pretend there is actually something interesting going on with the online group.
BOOTHMAN: Yes, I suppose I often can fill at least a few days doing that.
BOOTHMAN: Ok, next item of business, I think I've found my soul mate.
WhallBanger: and what makes you think I'm qualified for that?
BOOTHMAN: Kart 64 = Chicks
WhallBanger: Can't argue with that logic. Ok, I'll humor you.

Ash In Albany Has Joined the Channel.

Ash In Albany: A/S/L
WhallBanger: You already know Booth, and you should know by reading my profile that I'm not into females, or males for that matter, so you are wasting your time.
Ash In Albany: Pic?
BOOTHMAN: You are confusitating her Whalls.
BOOTHMAN: Anyhow Whalls, I really think this is the one. After I stole her off Burbs' buddy list, we hit it off immediately!
WhallBanger: Well she isn't a sister of a karter, so I have my doubts...
WhallBanger: Anyhow...
WhallBanger: What was the conversation like?
BOOTHMAN: Well, mostly, we talked about Burbs and how much she loves him and such, and how she'd like to screw me in secret. Like I said, true love.
WhallBanger: I guess I don't completely get how she is different than any other gal then. After all, everyone knows Burbs is sexier than you, even Walter knows that.
BOOTHMAN: Come on Whalls, we both know I'm the brains behind this operation. BUBBLE BUTT BONER BOY couldn't get an erection on his own.
Ash In Albany: HEY! Don't talk about MY BABY that way!
WhallBanger: Well I know you Booth. You'll fall for anything that actually thinks you are a guy and that is 1/4th your age. You must have other canedates.
BOOTHMAN: of course

Pikki Nikki Has Joined the Channel.

WhallBanger: Haven't we already been through this?
BOOTHMAN: I didn't invite her.
PikkiNikki: Burbs doesn't really love you. He just is saying it out of guilt because he whored you.
WhallBanger: WOAH... Somebody hasn't been keeping up to date. What the hell Booth, I am supposedly your #1 advisor. Why wasn't I informed of this...?
BOOTHMAN: You were off trying to pretend you are actually into gals, and you tried to pimp my fan club in Florida.
WhallBanger: You mean Clark?
BOOTHMAN: Nope, that's your one man fan club. Oh god, here comes the drama...

Bloom Obsession... Has Joined the Channel
Generation Has Joined the Channel
The Scooper Has Joined the Channel

Bloom Obsession...: Orlando?...
BOOTHMAN: not here
Bloom Obsession...: oh darn, because I was working up some serious steam for him. Did I mention my breasts are uneven C's and that I shaved recently for my fingering pleasure...
BOOTHMAN: Yep, it's been discussed.
Generation: They are more like Double A's due to a mosquito bite.
PikkiNikki: How could you even stand to be in the same room as her? She's got to be what, at least 380lbs!
WhallBanger: Not like Booth is picky, ya know. He just likes them young
The Scooper: Liars, all of you. I've 3-way frenched with her, so I should know.
Bloom Obsession...: You were wonderful, btw...
The Scooper: Thanx
Bloom Obsession...: But not as good as Orlando...
The Scooper: Of course. After all, he looked so sexy on the whole LOTR movie. Elves have that affect on me.

BOOTHMAN: Personally, I think OB, as well as LOTR is overrated. Besides, He's even uglier than me, and that's saying something. Freaking Hobbit Rapists!

Bloom Obsession...: HEY, don't talk about my movie like that! I've only watched it 1000 times and read the book each day of my life...
The Scooper: Yes, what Christine said.
BOOTHMAN: Whalls, help me out here!
WhallBanger: actually, I'm offended too, LOTR is awesome Booth, especially the book. Get with the program. Not like you read anyhow...
BOOTHMAN: Geez, tough crowd.
Ash In Albany: Boy, do I have dealing with drama all the time. These gals are worse than my friend Stephanie.
PikkiNikki: Well, get used to it. Burbs and Booth are infamous for getting underage gals into this stuff.
Generation: Well, at least Burbs didn't try to grope you.
Bloom Obsession...: Believe me, you aren't special when it comes to that...
The Scooper: What she said.

WhallBanger Is Now IDLE Without Warning (I wasn't mentioned last 3 lines, so it can't be important)

Ash In Albany: But he never loved you like he loved me!
PikkiNikki: January 2001.
Bloom Obsession...: MARCH 2004...
The Scooper: What she said.
Generation: What, you whored her the same month as me? WTF!?!?!?

BOOTHMAN: You know the drill gals. Burbs just puts himself down to draw you closer to him, to feed his own ego, so he can pimp you all
and give you the impression that you are all #1 in his life. You should all go for me instead, I mean come on, I have brains, I
am funny, and best of all, I'm 7 INCHES TALLER!

PikkiNikki: Well I met him first
Generation: ditto
Bloom Obsession...: Same...
The Scooper: What she said
Ash In Albany: Well, I'm not putting up with this sort of talk. I'm inviting him in right now!

Burbs Has Joined the Channel

WhallBanger Is No Longer IDLE

BOOTHMAN: I thought you were just going to not come back, since you don't like being social
WhallBanger: Well, come on, you got all these gals foaming over Burbs, and not you. With an opportunity like this, I couldn't resist.
Burbs: What the hell, Booth?
BOOTHMAN: I should be asking that... You supposedly are my uglier, shorter, and stupider best friend, and you are taking my gals.
Burbs: You're Gals? I met them first.
BOOTHMAN: So what, you yourself said you wouldn't date my Genre.
Burbs: I only said date. I said nothing about touching them inappropriately, and falsely promising them the world in order to gain self-worth.
BOOTHMAN: God, do I have to explain EVERYFUCKINGTHING to you?
Ash In Albany: Knock it off, don't hurt my baby!
PikkiNikki: Your baby? He loved me way before you came around!

Generation: Oh that's it. Not only did you whore around, but you lied about it, and you even traumatized my brother Ralph and told him all
your kinky sex stories. I am so out of here. I'm blocking your screen name, your email address, your cell phone number, and you’re Bubble Butt.

Burbs: Come on, I had nobody else to talk to.
Generation: Buy a dog, or a pet rock? Better plan on trading your destruction derby car for a mini-van!
Burbs: Well whatever, I deserve it, so do what you want.

Generation Has Left The Channel (Permanently Traumatized)

Bloom Obsession...: I hope being with Gen was worth our friendship

Bloom Obsession... Leaves the Channel (Looking for my Bra padding)
The Scooper Leaves The Channel (Time to foam over Bloom with PIP)

PikkiNikki: Well, I don't scare as easy as her. I demand you come see me in Maryland right now! That's the only way I'm going to be your
friend again Josh.
Burbs: You don't understand. I'm trying to make this work with Ashley. Besides, between working 4 hours, trying to reduce my baby
fat, and giving Booth guilt trips because he's so tall, I just don't have the time.
PikkiNikki: Oh forget it, I'm out of here.
Burbs: NO NO NO, I'll go
Ash In Albany: I'll bite your dick off if you do.
BOOTHMAN: Sounds kinky!
Burbs: Booth! That comment wasn't necessary.
WhallBanger: Like necessity has ever governed Booth.
BOOTHMAN: Tell that to my penis.
Burbs: Booth!@#@(#)@#*( STOP IT !)#(_@)#$()
Ash In Albany: Be nice to my baby!
PikkiNikki: He'll never be your baby.
BOOTHMAN: Forget this!

BOOTHMAN Goes Idle (Call me when it's over)

WhallBanger: As usual, Booth sticks me with the dirty work
Burbs: At least you don't get hand me downs, that don't fit.
PikkiNikki: Or Whore gals...
Ash In Albany: you know what...
PikkiNikki: Well Ashley, I have nothing against you. I actually applaud you, for finally being the gal the proved Burbs wrong about ever
doing anything with gals our age. I'm your new best friend.
Burbs: Huh?
Ash In Albany: Yes, but most likely, Josh will end up being gay or something.
BOOTHMAN Returns (Opportunity For a Comment Arises)

BOOTHMAN: Well, if I did things with you, I'd probably turn gay too.
Ash In Albany: oh, we both know you are just saying that, because you are mad you didn't get any.
BOOTHMAN: Perhaps, but if Burbs turns out being gay, I still have a point.
PikkiNikki: Man, you are just as much of a jerk as January 2002.
BOOTHMAN: Well what did you expect? You left me for a guy that's even shorter, stupider, and uglier than Burbs. That stuff I just can't understand.
PikkiNikki: Not everything was shorter...
Ash In Albany: Right on!
WhallBanger: Sorry, I can't help you with this one. Apparently, you have dug yourself such a huge hole, that China is jealous.
Burbs: What the hell? I'm NOT gay, and upon discovering that I possibly am, my ak47 has it covered.
BOOTHMAN: NM, Burbs opened his mouth… Perfect diversion!
BOOTHMAN: Now you can go make fun of Burbs more.
PikkiNikki: No challenge in that. anyhow, my mom is complaining, and my little sister is trying for guys your age again, so I must take care of a few loose ends. God Bless.
Ash In Albany: Yes, now that were friends, I think I'll just forget about going out with you and Josh. Besides, I can get sex anytime I want. Later!

Pikki Nikki Has Left the Channel (Must save my sister from Booth)
Ash In Albany Has Left the Channel (time to score myself #11)

WhallBanger: Are you done making a fool out of yourself yet?
BOOTHMAN: NEVER! I know I'm close to finding the right one. Let’s try another candidate.

Burbs: Yes, I got a good one for you this time. There is this gal that I can't figure out her name. I wasn't going to give you her screen name, but I know how you like playing games, so I'm going to go ahead and invite her here.

BOOTHMAN: Video Games, NOT mind games.
Burbs: Well excuse me, not everyone is smart like you around here.
WhallBanger: Actually, you're the only one currently in the room that's not.
Burbs: Well whatever... my work is done here. I've been made fun of enough.

Burbs BANS Burbs From Channel (Going to go and kill Walter Gay)
Britty Brat Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Great prank I must say. you got Burbs really guessing.
Britty Brat: *stares in silence, thinking the gig is up, but then thinks of a perfect way out of this*
Britty Brat: You know that I really love you instead, and not Burbs.
WhallBanger: Couldn't have thought of a better line to say next.
WhallBanger: I'll be satisfied if it lasts more than a few messenger windows. Besides, haven't you told her about Trisha yet?
Britty Brat: Yes, it's going to be great, I'm going to show you how to have wild sex with me and my fake picture.

BOOTHMAN CASTS STOP ON Britty Brat (Time has stopped)

v WhallBanger: You can do that in a chat room?
BOOTHMAN: Come on Whalls, you know I've always had the better ideas.
BOOTHMAN: Man, one of these days, I'm going to make good on that threat of throwing you into a locker.
WhallBanger: Not if I'm as fat as Andy says.

SfxYoshiGurl Has Joined the Channel.

SfxYoshiGurl: I know something is wrong Kevin. Are you in love with somebody else?
WhallBanger: By now, you should know the answer to that.
SfxYoshiGurl: Fuck you, I'm slow.

BOOTHMAN Casts STOP on SfxYoshiGurl (ineffective)

BOOTHMAN: WTF?!?!?!?!?
SfxYoshiGurl: I saw that one way ahead of time. After all, you always try to take the easy way out, so just tell me, is there somebody else?
BOOTHMAN: Your mama.
SfxYoshiGurl: Seriously, you need to get new material, and quit using mine. Anyway...

BOOTHMAN Pauses A Long Ass Time

SfxYoshiGurl: Hello?
BOOTHMAN: Usually after you say anyway when you are speaking of a serious subject, it's customary to continue.
SfxYoshiGurl: I'm stupid, just like you think I am. I'm ugly too... Admit it. Admit to it all! NOW!
WhallBanger: You really need to cut down on the psycho's that you meet.
BOOTHMAN: Then you'd have nothing to talk to me about.
SfxYoshiGurl: Who you calling psycho, bitch?
WhallBanger: If I was a bitch, my dog Ben would be into me more.
SfxYoshiGurl: Yep, I bet you are into that sort of thing. After all you know Kevin.
BOOTHMAN: I resent that. I'm the weirdest one in this chat... Except maybe Walter Gay, but that's another story.
WhallBanger: Notice how Booth rambles on, even when he does fake chats? You really should get back to the main idea.
BOOTHMAN: Ok fine. But I really want to avoid it.

BOOTHMAN: Ok, I met a gal via Burbs, and I'm sorry but I love her now, and well I figured cause you didn't call me and it was convenient to back out of the relationship, I decided to move on.

SfxYoshiGurl: Well fine. When you are ready to come to your senses, I probably won't be there.

SfxYoshiGurl Has Left the Channel.

WhallBanger: Smooth move there. I see you are using those historian skills well. Iacopo was so on the ball when he said you are wise in every dangerous situation, huh?

BOOTHMAN KICKS Whallbanger (ineffective)

WhallBanger: My idea. My rules.

BOOTHMAN chants a few things under his breath

WhallBanger: I can hear that too.
WhallBanger: That's so 70s
BOOTHMAN: Well laugh it up Whalls, because I got my Brittany.
WhallBanger: Everyone named Brittany is fake. Spears comes to mind.
BOOTHMAN: But her singing is real!
WhallBanger: You mean really bad.
BOOTHMAN: Well you are wrong about this one. She is everything I want in a woman.
WhallBanger: #1 She's way over your age limit. #2 she isn't made out of Rubber. #3 She isn't good with lollipops.
BOOTHMAN: Always the picky one Whalls. Well time to show you my godly talent.
WhallBanger: Can't wait.

BOOTHMAN Casts RESUME On Britty Brat (Time resumes)

Britty Brat: What just happened?
BOOTHMAN: You were asleep I think
Britty Brat: Sorry about that, you are so awesome.
BOOTHMAN: and you are too!
Britty Brat: I love you so much
BOOTHMAN: So do I! What a coincidence. This is so perfect!

Whallbanger Gags

BOOTHMAN: But ok, I know I probably shouldn't tell you, but you know me. It's my style to ruin a relationship by telling people things I should keep to myself out of guilt, so here goes. I wasn't completely honest about being single.

Britty Brat: WHAT?
BOOTHMAN: Yes, but I broke up with her. You can IM her if you wish to prove it.
WhallBanger: Does anyone see just how moronic this is? Booth and love is just a horrible mix.
BOOTHMAN: I got it all under control Whalls, you'll see.
WhallBanger: That's what you said about Nicole.
BOOTHMAN: Yes, but this one listens to reason.
Britty Brat: That's just great. I put my heart into you and then this. you know, and after I was completely honest about myself and my love, you go and....
WhallBanger: Booth isn't the greatest at picking out girls. There has to be something you are keeping from him.

Britty Brat: Ok, you got me there. First, the pic isn't really of me. I'm really a fat ugly bitch that nobody loves, so I tricked him into thinking I saw
him at Finns, I also lied about getting raped by Pat, it was really my dad, but wait, I lied about that too, because I have cancer and am going to die,
but wait, that's right, he prayed for me, so now I've been miraculously cured by god, however hold on, cause Pat just rose from the grave, and I love him
again, but I love him more, however, I really live in Oregon, so you should jump my bones right now. come on, let’s forget about the past and start over.

WhallBanger: Don't look at me. This one I can't even get you out of.
BOOTHMAN: Well sorry, but Trisha asked for me back, and since we already broke up while you were on that stop spell, you lost your chance.
Britty Brat: How could you? She lies about everything. I've never lied to you!
BOOTHMAN: How pathological can you get Whalls?
WhallBanger: Well, you pick them well.
Britty Brat: Either way, if you loved me, you would forgive me.
BOOTHMAN: But which one of you should I forgive? I've lost track of who you even are now?
Britty Brat: The real one.
BOOTHMAN: Which one is that.
Britty Brat: well forget it! I'm going to tell the cops on you!

BOOTHMAN: Yes right. That security guard on AOL doesn't fool me. Plus all he told me was that he can hump his chief anytime, and started boasting about the wild police balls he's invited to. That was more information than I need to know from Mr. piggy.

Britty Brat: You'll never find better than me.
BOOTHMAN: I don't think I could find worse.
WhallBanger: *cough*

BOOTHMAN BANS Britty Brat (Get some Prozac!)

WhallBanger: Perhaps you should actually find gals in your local area. You might be able to tell if they are psychos before I have to deal with them.
BOOTHMAN: You got a point there. However lazy you are on this, I think I'll actually take you up on that.

TammieAnnMccann has joined the channel

WhallBanger: Ok, so what AOL channel did you dig her up from?
BOOTHMAN: Judgemental as always shaver boy!
WhallBanger: You of all people should know I'm too YOUNG to shave!
BOOTHMAN: Anyhow, I met her while playing hearts. She's from Portland.
WhallBanger: I said LOCAL! That's a good 110 Miles away from you.
BOOTHMAN: Blasted Stalker, but seriously she's 23...
WhallBanger: Too old.
BOOTHMAN: Into real estate...
WhallBanger: Way too ambitous!
BOOTHMAN: Didn't I mention she could probably beat most guy at Kart?
WhallBanger: Ok, maybe there is a chance here.
TammieAnnMccann: Hey Stud!
BOOTHMAN: Hey Baby, how are things at the office?
TammieAnnMccann: Great, because I have you to come home to.
TammieAnnMccann: Well, got some clients to take care of, so I'll be back when I get off.
BOOTHMAN: Hey, no getting off without me!
TammieAnnMccann: ;)

TammieAnnMcann Has Left the Channel ("servicing" clients)

WhallBanger: Good thing Burbs didn't hear that one.

Burbs Unbans Burbs (Important News)

Burbs Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Kinda funny how timing works that way?

Burbs: Hey Booth, I forgot to tell you a half chapter ago that this one gal thinks you are cute. Her name is Kristi. She's like a friend of that Emaly gal

that asked us if we were going to that one concert and such, and that we backed out of cause Patrick is more cool.
BOOTHMAN: Well that could have been more beneficial about a day ago. I already got someone.
Burbs: Well, her loss, but promise me you won't get yourself hurt this time.
WhallBanger: Come on, it's Booth and Females... How do you always think these things end?
Burbs: Point taken.
BOOTHMAN: No Faith at all! Well, might as well tell the gals the bad news and get it over with.
Burbs: Well, I'll probably be made fun of again, so I'm going before you find a way to work me into more of your lame jokes.

Burbs BANS Burbs (Still working on curing the world of same-sex marriages)

BOOTHMAN: Like him leaving is going to save him from that.

Punk Girls Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Hey gals!
Punk Girls: Hey you! It's Em's!
Punk Girls: You get our message?
BOOTHMAN: Yes I did, but first, you know it's customary as gals online that I protect you from Burbs.
Punk Girls: Well, I think I love him, and I think were going to make a great couple.
WhallBanger: Yep, Booth called it.
BOOTHMAN: Obviously, you don't read the fake chats.
BOOTHMAN: Burbs has a habit of doing this, and I just want to know that ahead of time.
Punk Girls: Well I'm pretty hurt, but you are really sweet. Risking you reputation to tell us the truth.
WhallBanger: That's not the only ways he risks his reputation.
BOOTHMAN: No side comments from the Haslett Gallery.
Punk Girls: Anyhow, what was it you were going to tell us before the Burbs thing?
BOOTHMAN: Well, I just wanted to say that I got your message a day late, and I'm already with somebody.
Punk Girls: Well, that's ok, we can be great friends regardless, and sometime down the road, well you never know.
WhallBanger: Just give it a week, and you'll get your turn.
Punk Girls: I guess you read the fake chats then?
WhallBanger: Read them? I was the one that came up with the idea!
Punk Girls: Taking credit for Kev's brains, sounds typical.
Punk Girls: Anyhow, sorry about the mixed messages, and well be heading out, have a great night.
BOOTHMAN: you Too!

Punk Girls has left the channel. (To Sleep together)

WhallBanger: Ya, it appears those mixed messages continue.
BOOTHMAN: Well, maybe I can talk Tammie into a 3-some or something.
WhallBanger: And What has your success rate been with that again?
BOOTHMAN: Don't matter... There is a first time for everything.
WhallBanger: But there still has to be that first time, for anything to be everything.
BOOTHMAN: Let's not talk above our chat audience.
WhallBanger: Well, it's been over a day since Tammie has been back. Could be a bad Omen!
BOOTHMAN: Well, I just saw her sign on, she should be in soon.

v TammieAnnMccann Has Joined the Channel.

vv TammieAnnMccann: Hey Baby, I missed you!
BOOTHMAN: I missed you too!
TammieAnnMccann: You know, you can always tell me anything, because I will always be here for you.
WhallBanger: Yep, here is where it ends.
BOOTHMAN: Well, just read the backlog of the chat real fast, cause I don't want to retype my lack of a sex life.
WhallBanger: That's what the "Love" page was for. I don't even get why you called it that anyhow. One-sided Love hardly counts.
BOOTHMAN: It counts for me, so STFU!
WhallBanger: Whatever, so Tammie?
TammieAnnMccann: OMG... I can't be with you!
TammieAnnMccann: After reading this chat, I'm afraid you are going to harm the kids we are going to have 10 years from now!
WhallBanger: Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves psycho.

TammieAmmMccann: NO I'm not, and don't call me psycho, you online person. all you online people are all the fucking same. I can't trust an online person EVER EVER EVER.

TammieAnnMccann: I'm so done with the online world, and men in general. I hope you are all fucking happy. You broke a successful girl. Does that make you feel good about yourself?

BOOTHMAN: Actually, I think it's kinda funny. Well, I've heard enough.

BOOTHMAN BANS TammieAnnMccann (Take some of those meds from Brittany.)

WhallBanger: Well, looks like you are free for another few lines.
BOOTHMAN: Yep, it will be time to try things with Kristi again very soon.
WhallBanger: Just as I predicted. I must say, you move on from things faster lately.
BOOTHMAN: I've taken a different approach.
WhallBanger: Yes, I believe you have. You maximize on stupidity efficiency.
BOOTHMAN: Whatever.
BOOTHMAN: Anyhow, check how smooth I am!
Loonie Lunix Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Welcome girl!
Loonie Lunix: Hey You!
Loonie Lunix: We should hang out sometime, ya know.
BOOTHMAN: I agree. So when are you and Em going to be available?
Loonie Lunix: Well the thing is, Em won't be available. She doesn't want to be a 3rd Wheel.
WhallBanger: I don't think that would be a problem with Booth.
BOOTHMAN: Yep, the more the merrier, especially if you are mormon.
BOOTHMAN: Anyhow, so it's just going to be you and I now?
Loonie Lunix: If that is ok with you?
BOOTHMAN: Yes, I'm ok with that, just as long as it's not a date.
WhallBanger: Heaven forbid Booth actually shows some balls and makes things official.
BOOTHMAN: Well, I just don't like the pressure, anyhow, so the 12th was good?
Loonie Lunix: Well actually, I'm kinda feeling under the weather, could we reshedule?
Loonie Lunix: Well, I'd better get my beauty rest. Later on.

Loonie Lunix Has Left the Channel. (Sick in other ways...)
BrownSuger Has Joined the Channel.

BrownSuger: Hey, I was thinking...
BOOTHMAN: I bet I know what you are thinking.
WhallBanger: Well, knowing your style, most likely she is tired of foaming over Burbs cause he'll never have a life.
BrownSuger: How'd ya know?
BOOTHMAN: Just call it intuition.
BOOTHMAN: Anyhow, I'll take it a step further, if it wasn't for my penis size, age, and lack of karting skillz as of late, you'd choose me instead?
BrownSuger: Actually, I'm willing to take you as you are.
WhallBanger: Well that's quite the compliment :)... I think...

BOOTHMAN: Well, as flattering and exciting as that is, you're timing is bad. I already have somebody. It's hard for me to admit, but I'm an honest guy, so...

WhallBanger: When did you turn moral on me? Afterall, this is a fake chat. Morals aren't funny.
BOOTHMAN: Come on, anything can be funny, ask your buddy Carlin! Even rape is funny to him!
BrownSuger: Well, I appreciate your honesty. I will wait for you.
WhallBanger: Well just rejoin chat in about 10 minutes, and the wait will be over.

BrownSuger Has Left the Channel. (Getting out her battery-opperated equipment)
Loonie Lunix Has Joined the Channel.

Loonie Lunix: Sorry about the 2nd cancelation. I didn't have a ride/money/courage.
WhallBanger: Well, I think Booth would have had you covered on 2/3, but ya, that 3rd one...
BOOTHMAN: I don't see where the 3rd one would be a problem.
WhallBanger: Well you sure showed a lot of courage during the fake Andy era.
WhallBanger: Of all people, you replace yourself with Kretschmer! What were you thinking?
BOOTHMAN: Better qualified people were more chicken than me, caugh WHALLS caugh.
WhallBanger: I wouldn't call that chicken. I'd call that intelligant.
Loonie Lunix: Anyhow, we can meet tomorrow. I just need to go before school.
WhallBanger: Well, at least you got the age requirement covered.
Loonie Lunix: I'm a senior.
WhallBanger: What, she's legal? I think you are losing your touch.
Loonie Lunix: I'll teach him the "touch" part.
WhallBanger: ... OK ....

WhallBanger Casts STOP on Loonie Lunix (She's Frozen)

BOOTHMAN: Why you do that Whalls?
WhallBanger: well I think you got a problem Booth.
BOOTHMAN: WTF you talking about?
WhallBanger: Well, there is this thing called... TIMING ... but you wouldn't know about that...
WhallBanger: Yes BOoth, Timing.

WhallBanger: Don't you realize that this it taking place during the night, and you are actually going to meet her during the day, and on top of that, you have multiple variables that have to be expressed as the fact that her cousin is sick in the hospital, and they were close, and while you got her in the mood that night, that by morning it could be way different?

BOOTHMAN: Well, that's why I wrote this section as an easy cop out. After all, It sure beats the hell out of your stupid Gallo takes over the world bullshit.
WhallBanger: Hey, that was a great idea!

BOOTHMAN: Come on, who would believe Gallo would take over Glen Ridge, let alone the world. After all, that Banks guy was better than him, and some other dude was as well.

WhallBanger: Do you honestly believe everything you hear?
BOOTHMAN: Well, Kris Milo met him, so he's gotta be for real!
WhallBanger: He met Gallo, not the rest of the fake GR people.
BOOTHMAN: Batastini was for real.
BOOTHMAN: So was Nichols.
WhallBanger: Were they better than Gallo?
WhallBanger: Exactly.
BOOTHMAN: Ok, well I'll admit, the stop spell was a good idea, and you are right about the timing, but I'll prove to you that I can be even more creative.
WhallBanger: can't wait!

BOOTHMAN Casts FOG (Hides WhallBanger from sight)
BOOTHMAN Casts CLOCKSPEED (Hours Move Ahead, and relocates to Willamette)

WhallBanger: Well... If it was anyone else but Booth, I'd be worried about something actually "happening" here.

Narrator Has Joined the Channel.

WhallBanger: Now I really think you have gone overboard here.

Narrator: Well, not much to say. The scene starts with Booth taking the Loonie one of his favorite play spot, in hopes of "something" happening. To make a long story short, Nothing happened, and Booth ran a red light on the way back home in discust. Then he made up some silly speech at the end to attempt to salvage it all, even though he really didn't mean it.

BOOTHMAN: Well, that was a lot of help. That Narrator idea wasn't a good one. Oh well, at least I can get on with the chat now.

BOOTHMAN BANS Narrator (Lets See Whalls Come Up With a Better Idea)
WhallBanger Casts Restore (You were saying?)

Loonie Lunix: You know, you are the most selfish bastard I know. Just cause you didn't get any, you couldn't even IM me within 48 hours, and wish me good luck with my cousin.
BOOTHMAN: Just did what any other guy would do in that situation.
Loonie Lunix: That's right, you are just like every other guy.
BOOTHMAN: Nope, any other guy wouldn't have went out with your ugly ass.

BOOTHMAN BANS Loonie Lunix (I have another gal anyhow, so FU!)

WhallBanger: Well, I've never seen that before.
BOOTHMAN: Well this is the new me. I was screwed up from this before that IM, but with security in the bad, time to cash in on my suger girl!
WhallBanger: Seriously Booth, this is your life, there is no way she waits for you.
BOOTHMAN: It's my chat, and I can make the story go however I want it to go.
WhallBanger: Sure, but it wouldn't be funny if you actually succeeded.
BOOTHMAN: True, but lets just let things fall where they may, Ok?
WhallBanger: Fine with me!

BrownSuger Has joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: So you ready for me to take you up on your offer?
BrownSuger: Well you see, now that you are actually available, you are no longer that interesting to me. Besides, I don't know, because I got a lot going on with my life, and blah blah blah blah blah.

BOOTHMAN BANS BrownSuger (Excuses don't fly here)

BOOTHMAN: GOD I'm so done with stupid females.

Babbling Brooke Has Joined The Channel.

WhallBanger: Sure.
Babbling Brooke: I saw your pic. You are so hot? When can we meet? Oh wait, I just realized that I have a self-worth issue, so nevermind, you won't ever get to know me then!

BOOTHMAN BANS Babbling Brooke (That has to be the flake World Record!)

WhallBanger: Knowing you, the drama isn't quite over. If Kart 64= chicks holds true, you probably got whole states.

The Main Dz Has Joined the Channel.
Eric Harris Has Joined the Channel.
The Human Lawn Mower Has Joined the Channel.
Evil Fairy Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Let the games begin.
Eric Harris: Man, how come the neighbors had to lock up their weapons. I was so ready to cause some chaos.
BOOTHMAN: Well, I'm sure Kip can hook you up there.
Evil Fairy: Cool Shit!
WhallBanger: Now Booth has school shooting plots to add to his felonies. What next?
The Main Dz: So when is mark going to hook us up?
Human Lawn Mower: As soon as I drive and get the stuff.
WhallBanger: Why do I even ask!
Eric Harris: you really should drink/smoke/commit suicide more.
WhallBanger: I prefer to keep my body from being the human test rat.
Eric Harris: With what those quack doctors subscribe for us, like what we take illegally is all that bad.
The Human Lawn Mower: Yes, we figure the best thing to do is to drink/smoke/.... and not that other thing Rob Gal said till were lame.
The Main Dz: Not like there is all there is all that much to do out in the sticks. There are more cows than humans.
WhallBanger: Looks like Booth will be packing his bags then.
BOOTHMAN: Horses are better.
WhallBanger: I should know better that you'd have a sicker comeback for my already sick comment.
WhallBanger: I don't get it though. Why aren't you girls fighting?
Eric Harris: We've been buddies all our lives. We share everything!
The Human Lawn Mower: for sure.
The Main Dz: Even Guys!
The Human Lawn Mower: SHHHHHHHHH
Eric Harris: Either way, nothing could break our truce.
WhallBanger: Did Booth mention he wanted to take you up on that Orgy Idea...
Eric Harris: He's mine!
The Main Dz: He won't want you, I have bigger breasts.
The Human Lawn Mower: He won't want me because I'm fat.
Eric Harris: Not compared to Danica.
The Main Dz: Can't lay off the fat jokes huh? You don't even know if you are a guy or a girl, so stfu.
Eric Harris: I'm both... SEE!
WhallBanger: Last time I take over Booths role in getting chat to be interesting.
Eric Harris: Wait a minute? Why we fighting over that joker? I already have my Coty.
The Human Lawn Mower: Rob
The Main Dz: Mike
Evil Fairy: I don't know his name, but I got him.
The Human Lawn Mower: Yes know, I'm tired of Kevin pulling this shit. He won't even let me chat with Burbs out of jealousy.
The Main Dz: That's nothing... Just because my bf made out with some girl on the couch, he wants me to break up with the guy for him.
Eric Harris: I got you all beat. I GOT POT!
Evil Fairy: cool shit!
The Human Lawn Mower: Let’s ditch this popsicle stand, in favor of the good stuff.
The Main Dz: Yes, we've wasted enough time here.

Eric Harris Has Left the Channel (The Voices!)
The Human Lawn Mower Has Left the Channel (Time To Supervise the Kids)
The Main Dz Has Left the Channel (Time to Show Up Robin Again)
Evil Fairy Has Left the Channel (Just Tagging Along)

WhallBanger: No Last comment from you Booth?
BOOTHMAN: Na. I think the female section has sort of lost its luster anyhow.
WhallBanger: Admit it, you just don't have my talent.
BOOTHMAN: At being alone... Well I guess I'm pitching a tie so far, but whatever, maybe it's a good time to move on to other concerns.
WhallBanger: Well, I just can't wait. You are keeping me from those great video games I play.
BOOTHMAN: Golden Sun?
WhallBanger: Ass
BOOTHMAN: Well, I think it's time we deal with Kart 64 Players Whalls. After all, you are SVP.
WhallBanger: And I'll do what the SVP does best... Nothing!
BOOTHMAN: No, this time I think you'll want to be involved.
WhallBanger: If this is about the PAL CONVERSIONS again, we've already covered that the last 2 chats.
BOOTHMAN: Those are fake. We never really talked about that.
WhallBanger: I guess that would explain that whole replacing people with yourself so you could pretend you have a life, and get out of doing the site.
BOOTHMAN: No, that actually happened.
WhallBanger: Right. Well, what's the topic? You're always so cryptic about things, you know.
BOOTHMAN: I have no idea what you could be talking about :)
WhallBanger: Get to the point.
BOOTHMAN: Ok well I feel you should make a final return to kart 64 time trials.
WhallBanger: Booth we've been through this a million times. I don't just play kart because you want me to. Every time I've came back, it's been completely on my own accord.
BOOTHMAN Well sees about that!

Fucking SpearDick Has Joined the Channel.

Fucking SpearDick: Whalls, I heard you might come back from Booth. I am so excited. But first, you must get caught up to date since you haven't karted in a
long time. Kart has gotten to such a level that before you can officially come back, you must take college classes in quantum physics, in order to
understand mini-turbo theory. Since you are from Michigan too, that should be no problem. Also, you need to be an accomplished athlete in order to take the
demands of increased playing time that must be done at your level. Golf ball throwing helps.

WhallBanger: Yep Booth, I'm moved already.
BOOTHMAN: I don't understand all that physical stuff, but that golf ball throwing idea seems like a good idea. I used to do that as a kid.
WhallBanger: Among other things with balls.
BOOTHMAN: At least my last name doesn't rhyme with them.

Fucking SpearDick: Anyhow Jason, I'm going to blow... well wait that's you... I'm going to fly right by you, so you should come back right now, while I have a full head
of steam, so I can damage your boy ego and make you feel worthless. Come on, give it a try.

WhallBanger: Strike One

Whallbanger BANS Fucking SpearDick (I'm challenged enough already with my hands)

Hymen Man Has Joined the Channel.
Men Biller Has Joined the Channel.
MadR Has Joined the Channel.
Wilma Laced Has Joined the Channel.

Whallbanger BANS Hymen Man (Cheater,Lier,Schitzo)
Whallbanger BANS Men Biller (He's Pal? You need another reason?)
Whallbanger BANS MadR (He beat me at Banshee Boardwalk, and I can't take it back.)
Whallbanger BANS Wilma Laced (He/She/It/Whatever Reminds me too much of my mom.)

BOOTHMAN: You really should keep an open mind about things.
WhallBanger: I see from last chapter that really does wonders for you.
BOOTHMAN: Well if you don't keep an open mind, my chat is going to suck major dickage.
WhallBanger: Yes, I guess I'd better allow some more of my time to be wasted in that case.

Obi Wonn Has Joined the Channel.
Launda Has Joined the Channel.
Engels Speedos Has Joined the Channel.
Iacopuff Has Joined the Channel.
Hand Solo Has Joined the Channel.
Powerfox Has Joined the Channel.
Munchhole Has Joined the Channel.

Obi Wonn: Bet you can't guess the new shortcut I found!

WhallBanger BANS Obi Wonn (Yep, just guessed it. There's your shortcut out of here.)

Launda: Feared 4 Whalls! Come back with us for the History.

Whallbanger BANS Launda (You're History Now.)

Engels Speedos: If you do FS a certain way, Toad Cums in the snow.

Whallbanger BANS Engels Speedos: (They fit on Walter Gay Better)

Iacopuff: Join me in Banning Matt Horwitz and Jon Kretschmer!

Whallbanger BANS Iacopuff (Don't need your help in that.)

Hand Solo: I'm better with my hands than you.

WhallBanger BANS Hand Solo (Very Much Doubt That)

Powerfox: Do it for the Loudhouse!

Whallbanger BANS Powerfox (Done!)

Munchhole: you need to play long enough to open up 420DD!

Whallbanger BANS Munchhole (Wonn's stories are at least more believable)

BOOTHMAN: One lines each!
WhallBanger: Hey, opening up isn't an overnight thing for me. I feel it's a reasonable compromise.
WhallBanger: Ok, to be fair, if by some rare chance I do come back... I'll.... oh man this is difficult... I'll I.. 'll... 'll SUUUUU... SUUU... UUBBBB… BBB…. MMM.. MMM.. IT! Yes,
that thing with an S with my times.


WhallBanger: Kewl, I can avoid any more people trying lame tactics to get me to kart again.

Weather Has Joined the Channel.

WEATHER: NO BAN! NO BAN! Kart 64= Chicks!!!!!!!!
WhallBanger: Ok, you're speaking my language, I'll hear you out.
Weather: There are some new shortcuts Whalls, and I know how much of a traditionalist you are, and such, but you might as well do something before those
new games come out. Poker, Work, and working on fake chats can only take up so much of your time.
WhallBanger: True. Now are you actually going to show me how to do the shortcuts, or are you going to Wonn-Style hoard it?
Weather: That's what they used to do back in the day?
WhallBanger: Kart History has a way of repeating itself.
Weather: Well, I'll let someone else repeat it.

Weather SENDS Whallbanger YVSC 6"99 and FSSC 4"20.

WhallBanger: well I normally don't open up attachments due to viruses/rank content. In Booths case, it's usually both, but I think I'll make an exception this time.
Weather: The FS one is a little weird, but I think you'll actually find the YV one easier to do.
WhallBanger: Sure beats the ones people say they can do 0.000001% of the time, and end up landing it again 10 minutes later.
Weather: Oh yes speaking of those...

Weather Was Banned By Whallbanger (The Bait Worked)
BOOTHMAN Recovers From Fainting Spell

BOOTHMAN: Whoa! How long was I out.
WhallBanger: FS SC lap of 5"21
BOOTHMAN: It's just like you to show me up Whalls.
WhallBanger: As said in the time journal, send all death threats to Andrew Weatherton.
BOOTHMAN: What? out of all people to talk you into karting again. What was the secret?
WhallBanger: You stopped trying.
BOOTHMAN: Well whatever. What do you plan on doing now that you are back?
WhallBanger: Beat more of your times, until I get bored, and then I'll go inactive again.
BOOTHMAN: So the usual.
WhallBanger: Of course.
WhallBanger: BRB
WhallBanger: http://www.Jwhallsequalschicks.com/selfpromoting/braggingrights/iknowbooththwillreadandcommentonit/journal.html
BOOTHMAN: #$)_$#_($#$#$$(%#%(#$()#+_%#_+%#)%()_#%(#%+_) MOTHER $%#(*$)#($ WHALL FAGGOT!!!!
WhallBanger: Yep, I called it.
BOOTHMAN: You know how many fucking years it took me to take your match up down to where it was?
WhallBanger: Well obviously way longer than it took me to ruin it again. You really should pursue something else that's more worthwhile... like... writing fake chats.
BOOTHMAN: We both know I suck at that.
WhallBanger: Yes, but I need a good laugh.
BOOTHMAN: You really think my chats would be funny?
WhallBanger: Nope... You attempting a chat would be funny. You are the king of unfinished projects.
BOOTHMAN: What about those projects before the kart chat. You never finished those.
WhallBanger: That's because you were involved in them, and I knew years later, you'd just give in and finish them for me. the fake chats are just too deep for you, so I knew it was up to me on those.
BOOTHMAN: Nothing is too deep for me!
WhallBanger: A gal going through puberty is too deep for you...
BOOTHMAN: I get enough of that from Trisha, so spare me.
WhallBanger: Ok, well I think I got enough wins on you to prove my point, so I'm done with kart for now, except those fake chats, and well perhaps a popularity contest.
BOOTHMAN: Whalls, that has got to be the stupidest Idea I’ve heard yet.
WhallBanger: If you win, it will cement your legacy as the god of all gaming communities.

Whallbanger HOPES Booth Doesn't Use The BS Filter

BOOTHMAN: You're right!!! OMG!!! WHERE DO I SIGN UP!!!
WhallBanger: Well Booth, its invitation only, and only the top 128 people out of all the super kart powers of the world make it, so I don’t know.
BOOTHMAN: You got a point. Those MKSC players are pretty scary. I'd better bribe every karter from 1997
to vote for me by giving them all those sisters I have locked up... I mean that I know.
WhallBanger: Save it for the Bio Booth.
BOOTHMAN: Anyhow, let me read up on the rules.
BOOTHMAN: /Contest Rules

Chat Host:

Welcome to the Favourite Karters Contest page! Quit bitching about how favourite is spelled. It's a European thing, and you states people are such stuck up asswipes. This tournament is going to decide who the karter’s favorite is, or at least, who has been bugging others to vote for them the most. 128 karters originally entered the contest, whether they liked it or not.

After two rounds only 32 of them are left, with no real surprises of course, since we all knew who they would be anyhow. The second part of the tournament consists of a full 32 player knockout draw. After that the winner of this contest will be known. Each day we will announce 1 match up between two players, which will guarantee to make things drawn out for months. After all, we couldn't just do this in a few days, or nobody would think it's that important, which they don't anyhow, so whatever. This is where you come in: you must vote your favorite from that match, and instead of just voting for the entire round at once, because we know you might change your mind quite often, the challenge is to remember to vote each day, while simultaneously dealing with your lack of life on the computer. After all, gamers don't have lives, so you'll find the time to vote each day, and waste bandwidth I'm sure. At the end of the day we will tally up the votes see that the favorite was in that match, and even if you are a minute late, well not count your vote, cause this contest is just that important! Every day the results and matchups will also be posted on each of the Super Mario Kart, Mario Kart 64 and Mario Kart Double Dash In Albany main pages, even though most of the voters are actually from the kart 64 page, and we secretly delete the votes from the other sites.

Who can vote?
Everyone who's a member of the SMK, MK64 or MKDD players pages or a member of the KKK, as well, as friends, family, 15 year old tongue kissing girls, farm animals, ,people abducted in space ships, and turned into sisters, or even the occasional person that isn't involved at all in the kart site, as long as you vote for Booth, and lastly anyone else who has been involved in one of the Mario kart communities. If you're not a member of those sites, but still feel you should be able to vote, let us know and we'll decide if you're allowed to vote or not, but if you aren't voting for Booth or the person on the flavorrite vote staff, then most likely we won't let you.

How do I vote?
You have 2 options to send us your vote: Option 1: E-mail: Send your vote to karters128@yahoo.com (So people can hack into it, see your vote, and make fun of you in Whalls' vote sharing section) Option 2: AIM: Send an AIM Message with your vote to "PaulTanney", "Michael Liem" or "sim666laflamme" (if you use MSN you can also use: "mkdd18@hotmail.com"), and make sure to vote for us, or well make fun of you publicly.

Option 1 is the recommended way of voting. Sending an e-mail is possible during all 24 hours of each voting round, and everyone and their sister has access to that. However, to make voting as easy as possible for you we decided to allow voting by AIM and MSN as well, cause we've found that we have to bug people to vote, cause they are too lazy to use emails. If you see one of these 3 users online: "Michael Liem" - "PaulTanney or mkdd18@hotmail.com" - "sim666laflamme" you can send your votes to them, and they'll write down your votes or forward them to the karters128@yahoo.com email address, if they like who you voted for. However, a few points you need to consider: - Keep in mind that this is only an extra feature. Neither of us will be online 24 hours a day, even combined we won't reach 24 hours online coverage, and we are too retarded to learn how to use Trillian, so most likely, your votes will be lost. - So, if you don't see us online, just send your vote by email (and don't keep waiting until the deadline has almost passed, like helpless geese). - Be careful with sending votes by AIM if we're away from the computer. If Michael or Simon has an away message up, you send a vote to one of them, and they don't return to their computer before the voting deadline ends, that means your vote will get lost. (Well not really, but if you'd believe that, we got oceanfront in Arizona with your name on it!) - Preferably don't send your votes twice. If you emailed your votes already, don't go and send them a 2nd time by AIM, or the other way around. That would be confusing for us, and we are truly simple people, that aren't technologically advanced enough to know when someone votes twice, much like Florida!

When can I vote?
Every day a new match up will be announced. (OVERWEALMED WITH JOY YET?) Then we'll give you 24 hours to send your votes. (WE FIGURE IT TAKES THAT LONG TO DECIDE, CAUSE IT'S A TOUGH DECISION) After the 24 hours have passed the votes will be tallied and published on the site. And we'll announce the next match up. You can only vote for the match up that's being played on that day. So, don't send us votes for other matchups if they haven't been announced yet, because once again, we know you'll change your mind.

Who should I vote for?
This is essentially a popularity contest, therefore, it is entirely up to you! cough vote for Booth cough! Some things you could possibly consider would be: Who is the better player? Booth! Who has contributed more to the Mario Kart community as a whole? Definitely Booth! Whose posts are fun to read on the boards? ...Ok, maybe not Booth but who cares. Who is more enjoyable to chat with on MSN or AIM? Booth Owns there! Or even, whose name did I just draw out of this hat? Booth sees to it that his name is the only one in there. In fact, when it comes to voting, there is really only one option not available to you...No one may vote in their own matches! Neither for yourself nor your opponent. No exceptions, except for Booth and you may not vote for anyone else but Booth or the staff of the contest or well make fun of you at vote sharing.

What happens if a match up is tied at the end of the day?
If the 2 players have exactly the same number of votes at the end of the day, we'll extend the match up by another 24 hours. This way everyone who hadn't sent their vote yet can make sure their vote will still get in, because come on, there is no way you'd possibly vote for the same person twice? I mean look at Florida... A lot of people changed their mind about voting for James Buchanan. The other match up that was planned for that next day will just take place as planned. So, the regular match up and the extended tied match will both take place on the same day. Although, we might can that idea, because voting for 2 people in

the same day is just sacrilegious, and too much decision making for you to make in one day. The idea for this contest and some of these texts were based on the character contests from gamefaqs and the summer contests from the-elite.net. So all of the credit should go to them, even though we don't give them any credit at all. Face it. The only person capable of original ideas is whalls.

1st Round - 128 players will be in a knockout with 64 different matches’ blah blah blah.

2nd Round - 64 players will be in a knockout with 32 different matches..... yawn.

3rd Round - The 32 players who made it this far will get reseeded here. Of course, they will be poorly reseeded, but that's just how it goes. Those 32 players will be in a knockout with 16 matches. The 16 winners will advance.

4th Round - A knockout round with 16 players..... boring.

Quarterfinal - A knockout round with 8 players... falling asleep here.

Semi-Final - A knockout round with 4 players ya, whatever, bring us to the final.

Bronze Medal Match - A battle for the 3rd place between the two losers from the semi-final matches, cause face it. Without this, they would constantly bitch about how they should have won instead of Booth.

Final - 2 players will battle it out to see who is the favorite karter , as it is special I will run this for 2days rather then one, and in the outcome we will have the contest winner. If we take 2 days to do it, we make it seem that were actually totally unbiased, much like Liem in PAL CONVERSIONS or Booth when it comes to Our Sisters. Truth is, we all know Booth is going to win, but we need to cover that up the best we can.


Vote counting, updating, design - Paul Tanney & Michael Liem

Bio Writers - Paul Tanney, Michael Liem, Simon Laflamme, Mark Jones

Advisors - Jason Whalls, Jon Barber

Bracket maker contest - Jon Barber

BOOTHMAN: Well, these rules seem reasonable. I might occasionally vote.
WhallBanger: Well, I advised these guys, so it should be good.
WhallBanger: But then again, Tanney and Liem working together is just a joke.
BOOTHMAN: Well, as long as I win, I suppose.

Simple Laflamer Has Joined the Channel.
Washed Up Gamer Has Joined the Channel.
Sterlin18 Has Joined the Channel.
Light Tanney Has Joined the Channel.

BOOTHMAN: Ok, time to see if this contest works. Who are you all going to vote for?

Simple Laflamer: SMK Players

BOOTHMAN Bans Simple Laflamer (Incorrect Answer)

Washed Up Gamer: ELITE Players

BOOTHMAN Bans Washed Up Gamer (Wrong Again)

Light Tanney: MKDD Players

BOOTHMAN Bans Light Tanney (You really aren't that smart, are you?)

Sterlin18: You, Booth!

BOOTHMAN PROMOTES Sterlin18 to level 10 access op

BOOTHMAN: About time somebody knows how to vote around here. Next thing you know, someone will create a topic to share votes, just to tick me off.
WhallBanger: Yes, I think that's something I'd do just to tick you off :)
BOOTHMAN: So Sterling, how's life?
Sterlin18: Great, you are in chat! Keep sending those newsletters, they are the most interesting things in the world.
WhallBanger: Excuse me a moment.

WHALLBANGER is Idle (Quite Ill from the brown-nosing)

BOOTHMAN: He's just jealous.
Sterlin18: Most definitely.
Sterlin18: So you going to do any more karting?
BOOTHMAN: Well, I think its best I hold off now. Whalls kind of showed me up lately in that, as well as a lot of other players, so as kind of my last hurrah, I'm going to
win this contest, and cement my legacy permanently.
Sterlin18: Good idea!

BOOTHMAN: I believe I got it in the bag. Between manipulating votes by flooding the ballet box with 1997 karters, and threatening members with Walter Gay/ Wilma Laced orgies, I believe It's all good.

Sterlin18: Yep, full speed ahead? Any possible threats?
BOOTHMAN: Well unfortunately, there are people that are actually morally in tact, and for that, I’m not sure what to do there.
Sterlin18: morality is highly overrated.
BOOTHMAN: Time to make sure there is no way I can lose. Good thing I opped you, cause this is going to take a double tech.
Sterlin18: I'm ready

BOOTHMAN Casts Stop as Sterlin18 Casts Tiger, combining in new double tech.... Crouching Tiger on vote leaders.

Sami Cetin - Terminated
Alex Penev - Terminated
Michael Jongerius - Terminated

WHALLBANGER returns from idle state (3 counts of premeditated murder... time to take pics for later blackmail)

WhallBanger: Aren't you forgetting somebody?
BOOTHMAN: I have no other threats to the crown, the victory is mine!
WhallBanger: I heard Finn Berger has widespread support in all the karts due to his message board posts.
BOOTHMAN: Please... That guy has absolutely no chance.
Sterlin18: Nobody can stop the BOOTHMAN. Anyhow, thanx for oping me. I'm going to go afk for now. Give me a buzz if you need me.
BOOTHMAN: You got it

Sterlin18 Is Idle (working on his golf swing)

WhallBanger: Well the votes are in for the final round.
BOOTHMAN: How did I do?
WhallBanger: You didn't make the finals.
BOOTHMAN: WHAT????? IMPOSSIBLE???? I can't be THAT unloved. Besides, all the cheating/crimes had to have worked.
WhallBanger: Nope, you killed Cetin after he lost to Lacey in the bronze round, and well Finn ended up winning it all.
BOOTHMAN: Remind me to just kill everyone next time.
WhallBanger: And be an accessory? I'm your advisor, not your personal body carrier. Besides, just in case you turn on me, I got plenty of dirt now.
WhallBanger: That, and I do have the chat idea too.

BOOTHMAN thinks to himself (Well see about that later.)

BOOTHMAN: ya, cough... anyhow, it appears my world dominance via the karter's contest has failed, but I do have another plan, and this one, unlike casting spells to kill them is perfectly legal, and doesn't violate gods or mans laws.

WhallBanger: Oh great, don't tell me you are going to try to get me in your get rich quick scheme again.
BOOTHMAN: Actually, I was hoping you'd get yourself away from dying in a get tortured slowly scheme.
WhallBanger: Look, it's not for me. Besides, talking to actual people is scary. It's just not my thing.
BOOTHMAN: So watching you and your family and friends suffer due to your ego is your thing?
WhallBanger: It's not like it's my fault they are around. They chose to give birth to me, be around me, and make more.
BOOTHMAN: Someday Whalls, you'll think about more than yourself, and you will realize why I do what I do.
WhallBanger: It's a blasted Pyramid. All things like this are. You are just trying to make money off of me Booth! You can't fool me!

BOOTHMAN: So the fact that your manager will always make more money than you, and the ceo of your job site makes more isn't? They make a lot more money off you than I sure would. As far as how useful you are, it appears I wouldn't make anything. In fact, you'd have to talk me into sponsoring you for this.

BOOTHMAN: The only reason I considered you before, cause of your achievements in other areas. (Come to think of it, what am I saying?)
WhallBanger: I take offense to that, I've accomplished a lot in my short life!
WhallBanger: I've passed a lot of games.
WhallBanger: Set a lot of world records that won't ever get published in Walter Gay’s book.
WhallBanger: I've even followed in your footsteps, and stayed at home with mom, and vowed a life of celibacy (except people's sisters, and occasional farmery.)
BOOTHMAN: Point taken.

WhallBanger: Still, what you are asking me to do, it just can't be ethical. I mean going out of my comfort zone, and actually letting people know I have a way out of them working their jobs, it just can't work. I'm a master debater.... err nm. Either way, I'll find a way to disagree with you until the end, because I'd rather do that, than admit I'm wrong.

BOOTHMAN: And I thought Megz admitting she's wrongfully attracted by physicality was profound.
BOOTHMAN: Well, I admire your honesty, but I must admit through the process, I've changed my opinion about you.
WhallBanger: Just cause I won't be Mr. January on the Amway calendar?

BOOTHMAN: Well, it's just that, you of all people I figured that if you weren't man enough for the business, you'd at least support what I got, especially since I could save you and your family 300 bones.

WhallBanger: So just cause I'm too proud, sarcastic, and stubborn to save myself 300 dollars and a lot of time, that you are just going to cut me from your life?
BOOTHMAN: You always were the smart one, Whalls.
WhallBanger: You need me. I'm your #1 guy on-line. Besides, where will your mentorship come from?
BOOTHMAN: Got that covered. I got people that have the lifestyle I want that will help me get to where I'm going to be. You had that chance too, however, that time has passed by.
WhallBanger: It looks like money has changed you.
BOOTHMAN: If so, I like the changes.

WhallBanger: Well, I'm tried of being in your stupid chat anyhow. In fact, I'm going to make a better chat v3 than you, and make it much funnier. Besides, you have run out of material, so best of luck sucker.

WHALLBANGER Casts Ultima (Disappears)

BOOTHMAN: Always like him to make an exit.
BOOTHMAN: Well, if I created Kart 64 Players, Made State in Cross country, beat a guy that beat an nba player in 1 on 1, and helped myself to people’s sisters, then I can do anything. I can do anything, and my new life starts now!

BOOTHMAN Casts Epoch (End Of Chat)

A Historian's Life (ChatV3 Message Board)